Jewish Divorce Mediation

For Jewish families, a divorce has a civil side and, for many, a religious side as well. Crossroads Neutral offers confidential, neutral mediation for the civil side — property, finances, support, and parenting — and helps couples think through how it fits with any religious steps they plan to take.

We work with families across the Jewish community — Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, secular, and interfaith — and approach every couple with respect and complete confidentiality.

A mediator who respects Jewish tradition and family

We understand the matters that often come up for Jewish families: whether a get will be sought and when, the ketubah, Shabbat and holiday schedules for the children, day-school and synagogue costs, bar and bat mitzvah planning, and keeping the involvement of grandparents and community positive.

To be clear, we are not a rabbi or a beit din, and we do not arrange a get or give rulings on Jewish law. We help you reach a fair civil agreement, and couples who want a religious divorce work with their rabbi or beit din alongside the mediation.

Issues that often come up for Jewish families

Every family is different, and none of these will apply to everyone. These are among the questions families most often bring to mediation:

• The get. In Orthodox and Conservative practice, a religious divorce (a get) is needed before either spouse can remarry within the tradition, and Reform practice generally does not require one. Some couples agree in mediation on whether and when they will each take part in the get process; how a court treats that kind of term varies, so ask your attorney.
• The ketubah. Some couples want to discuss what the ketubah means to them. Whether a court will enforce any of its terms is a legal question for your attorney.
• Shabbat and the holidays. Parenting plans can address Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Hanukkah, and Passover, including how seders and travel are shared.
• Day school, Hebrew school, and camp. Tuition and activity costs are a common question in the parenting plan and child support discussions.
• Bar and bat mitzvah planning. Some couples agree in advance on how the celebration will be planned and paid for.
• Kashrut and observance in two homes. Where parents observe differently, some agree on what the children can expect in each home.

Languages we speak

You can mediate in the language you are most comfortable with. We speak English, Hindi, Punjabi, and Urdu, among other foreign languages, so nothing important is lost in translation during the decisions that matter most.