Buddhist Divorce Mediation

Many Buddhists hope to end a marriage the way they try to live — with honesty, patience, and as little harm as possible to each other and to their children. Mediation is built for exactly that. Crossroads Neutral offers confidential, neutral mediation that keeps the process calm and private and helps both spouses reach a fair, durable agreement.

Our clients come from many Buddhist traditions and backgrounds — Sri Lankan, Nepali, Bhutanese, Tibetan, Burmese, Thai, Cambodian, Lao, Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, and Indian families, as well as people who came to Buddhism as adults. We approach every family with respect and without assumptions.

A mediator who respects Buddhist values and family

Mediation asks for what many Buddhists already practice: careful listening, truthful speech, and a willingness to find a middle way. Instead of two attorneys arguing for opposite outcomes, you and your spouse work through finances, property, and parenting together, with a neutral guide.

We understand the matters that often come up — the expectations of parents and elders, property or family obligations in another country, the place of the temple or meditation community in family life, and how children will keep their traditions across two homes. We are not a religious teacher and do not offer spiritual counsel; our role is to help you reach a fair civil agreement that reflects your values.

Issues that often come up for Buddhist families

Every family is different, and none of these will apply to everyone. These are among the questions families most often bring to mediation:

• A civil divorce, not a religious one. Most Buddhist traditions treat marriage as a civil and family matter, without a religious divorce rite. A marriage registered under U.S. law is ended by a court order, which is the part mediation helps you agree on.
• Property and family obligations abroad. Land, homes, or support for parents in Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bhutan, Southeast Asia, or East Asia need to be identified and valued, and some questions may need advice from a lawyer in that country.
• Elders and extended family. Some couples want to agree in advance how, and when, parents and relatives will be told, and how they will stay involved with the children.
• The temple or meditation community. Where both spouses belong to the same sangha or temple, some couples agree on how they will share that community after the divorce.
• Children's traditions across two homes. Parenting plans can address temple visits and classes, Vesak, Losar, Lunar New Year, and other observances.
• Immigration. If either spouse's status depends on the marriage, get advice from an immigration attorney before you finalize anything.

Languages we speak

You can mediate in the language you are most comfortable with. We speak English, Hindi, Punjabi, and Urdu, among other foreign languages, so nothing important is lost in translation during the decisions that matter most.